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Offline Griff

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A Bit of a Laugh
« on: June 02, 2014, 04:26:04 PM »
I was talking to a pensioner friend the other night and he told me of an episode that befell him as follows:-

" I have been banned from Tesco's " he said.

  "Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pets, and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant ? So since I am retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that "no I didn't have a dog and that I was starting the dog diet again". I added that I probably shouldn't because I had ended up in hospital last time, but I had lost 10 kilos before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that nearly everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story). Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me ? I told her "no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setters arse and a car hit me". I thought the guy behind me was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I am now banned from Tesco. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say."

Offline EdinKent

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2014, 10:18:29 PM »
 :008: .. :021: .......it was you really wasn't it... :084:

Offline nerolab

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2014, 11:27:16 PM »
 :745:
currently bikeless :(
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Offline Jon

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2014, 12:32:02 AM »
That's one of the funniest things I've heard in years!  :745:
Jon

Offline Deanno

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2014, 01:59:57 AM »
It's so funny that I had to share it with friends. Like me, it brought a tear to their eyes.

Offline serfies_sa

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2014, 02:02:58 AM »
 :047: had to read out loud to all here, thanks

Offline iExplorer

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2014, 03:25:20 AM »
Ha-ha... Good one

Offline Mortech

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2014, 05:18:16 AM »
Hahahah I almost pit tea all over my new laptop  ... :745:
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Offline FellZebra

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2014, 06:18:13 AM »
Great!
Being in early doesn't seem so bad now
Ta for sharing

Offline Paddy Field

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Re: A Bit of a Laugh
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2014, 06:52:58 AM »
Have you lot not heard that joke before? It's certainly done the rounds. Funny though.
- Gone and bought something else -

 


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